I am exhausted.  There are several things that are contributing to my delirious state of mind: parenting, school work for my daytime job, school work for my grad class, a school play, taxi-driving to sports events, and a brain that makes lists all night long when I would prefer to be sleeping. It is overwhelming at times, and the desire to give up and feel sorry for myself sometimes comes dangerously close to winning. Almost, but not quite.  Because every time I feel like I have hit my limits, I am reminded of the importance of the jobs I have been given.

In my classroom, no two days look alike.  Okay, that is not entirely true.  I do have an opening routine that involves students settling in at their desks, getting out their dog-eared homework, and doing the opening reflection assignment on the board.  But that is where the routine ends.  Each day can bring about an entirely different set of exercises and discussions.  I have actually overheard students describing Mrs. Hoffman's class as, "unpredictable, because you never know what she is going to have us do." I will admit, that there have been some crazy moments of laughter or music from a lesson that bellows down the hallway causing those passing by to stop and attempt to judge the worthiness of the lesson.  

But over the last week,  I have done some really deep thinking and introspection. What is my purpose? What is my driving question every day? My grad class has focused this first week on what I am doing to shape the thinking and mindset of those students placed in my care.  It was an interesting fact noted by my professor that no matter how much society wants to say that teachers keep their belief system out of the classroom, IT WILL STILL SHOW UP.  Because if we truly believe in something, it should shape what we think, how we act, and who we are.  

After reading my first blog post, that same friend who challenged me before, challenged me once again.  I received in the mail a book written by Seth Godin entitled, What To Do When It Is Your Turn [and it's always your turn].  At first I set the book on a shelf.  Hello?! Didn't I just finish saying I was bogged down with a new class? I had no time for pleasure reading.  But curiosity got the best of this English teacher.  So I put on my soft pants, grabbed a snack, and picked up the book. I could not put it down.  While the entire book was motivational, this passage stood out to me: 

"What will you create? 

 Who will you help? 

 What will you dare to care about? 

       There are so many opportunities, so many chances to find beauty or to ease suffering, that the easiest thing to do is to pretend they don't exists. 

Because if they do exists, if that little girl will live a better life because you showed up, if that void will be filled because you cared enough to do something about it...if we actually recognize the opportunity that's in front of us, what are we to do about it?

We'd have no choice but to change things for the better, to take our turn and make a difference.  

You have the chance to change things....What do you care enough to fix, or disrupt, or invent? 

Starting right here, right now.  If we are willing to suffer enough to matter, we are able to make change happen.  or at least we can try. 

Don't avert your eyes. Look at the opportunity.  Take it.  

It's yours." 

So today, in spite of exhaustion and a desire to take a long nap, the desire to make a difference is a little stronger.  

Reference: 
Godin, Seth. What to do when it's your turn (and it's always your turn). Canada: Domino Project, 2014. Print.